After RFRA: Five More Constructive Projects than Supporting Republicans

Ant Farm

Beanie BabiesLast month, American conservatives pinned their hopes on Indiana in general and governor Mike Pence in particular to make a firm stand against the encroaching anti-family agenda of the LGBTQWERTY community. Indiana’s Republicans talked a big game about defending their values and taking a stand, but they suffer from an inferiority complex which guarantees, like clockwork, that they’ll sit down, shut up, and take orders when the liberals, transplants, and outsiders play to their insecurities about being slack-jawed hicks.

If your religion’s not the most important thing to you, then it’s not your religion. If your values are negotiable under social pressure, then they’re not your values. Pence’s religion is worshiping his Big Business overlords and the values he holds dear are financial security and preening social status. Pence once famously declared that he’s a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican, …in that order. This episode confirms that when the chips are down, he’s a Republican first and finally, and will throw his conservative values and Christian religion to the jackals the minute the party hacks command it.

I understand why many who are sympathetic to TradYouth’s ambitious goals end up donating to and supporting system politicians who pay lip service to some of our traditionalist ideals. On the surface, Mike Pence is a man of power in command of his state party, just as Ron Paul was a national politician who was apparently leading a charge against the system. Meanwhile, we’re a numerically insignificant and politically marginalized gaggle of men and women with no real power or access to the system. We’re fun to listen to, and you agree with us more than you agree with the GOP’s “social conservatives,” but you understand realpolitik enough to know that we don’t have the access to the system necessary to change it.

But a cursory review of history confirms that little people with big ideas, and the courage and tenacity to fight for those ideas against incredible odds, have ended up defeating the Goliaths of their day time and again. History also confirms that this system is far too corrupt and corrupting to anything it touches to be reformed from within. One can reliably tell the future, that the “gay rights” and “gay marriage” stuff will steadily gain ground, state-by-state, until even the most “conservative” Republicans eventually accept that as the new normal and quietly shift to offering a half-hearted and retreating defense of the next aspect of our culture, identity, and way of life that our enemies concluded long ago that they would destroy, bit-by-bit, piece-by-piece.

System Conservatives

Another ‘System Conservative’ Challenger Emerges!
Let’s all care.

Paragons of “social values” virtue like Mike Pence will be trotted out with background music and cheering crowds, like a professional wrestler entering the stage, only to be trounced like every other challenger of the system’s reigning champion: Decadence. Honestly, I’m a bit shocked that Pence caved so quickly, like a wrestler going down from the first folding chair upside the head. I was expecting a more long and drawn out journey from system rebel to system tool, like the meandering and gradual decline of the Paul Dynasty.

Supporting the GOP’s RFRA battle was a waste of time. Here are five better uses of your time.

Ant FarmPurchasing an Ant Farm

Ant farms have a special attraction for children of all ages, with the busily toiling ants hypnotizing us with their elaborate networks of tunnels. How can these tiny critters know to develop such elaborate homes for themselves??? Ant farms help reduce stress, they’re excellent conversation pieces, and they may even help inspire a fascist work ethic.

Digging and Refilling a Hole

With our increasingly sedentary service- and technology-driven economy, it gets harder and harder all the time to stay active and keep in shape. Providing you use proper form to protect your back, hydrate when thirsty, and use sunscreen if it’s sunny, digging a sizable hole in the middle of your yard and then placing the dirt back into the hole afterward is a better use of your time and energy than paying attention to and emotionally investing yourself in system politics.

Purchasing a Beanie Baby™ Collection

Sure, we all know that the market has crashed, and that nobody’s willing to pay that much for those adorably under-stuffed children’s toys anymore. But when you invest your money in Beanie Babies™ instead of Republican hacks, you’ll at least have a children’s toy to show for your investment, which is more than you’ll have to show for your investment in phony conservative politicians. And heck, who knows? The collectibles market is quite unpredictable, and there’s a very very small chance that your investment will end up paying off in the distant future, which is more than you can say for your investment in the GOP.

Converting to Scientology

Scientologists

They’re having WAY more fun than Indiana’s GOP!

Scientology is an elaborate scam which relies on a vast web of bullshit to fleece you out of your precious time and money as you work your way up the initiatic ladder to the top of the money-making pyramid scheme. It damns your soul, loads you up with lies, and will attack you on the way out. But so does the Tea Party Movement, and it doesn’t even have the sexy retro sci-fi vintage hollywood vibe that Scientology brings to the table. If you’re going to be a sucker, you might as well do it in style with Scientology!

Supporting TradYouth

Sure, we’re small. But that’s only because we don’t yet have the resources to grow. That’s where you come in. If we received a tenth as much as the lady who runs the pizzeria raised, we could truly frighten the establishment and lay the groundwork for a meaningful challenge to this system which strikes at the root.

We’re punching commies, challenging the anti-Christian and anti-white hucksters on their home turf, injecting our ideas into the mainstream media, and inspiring the next generation with a message that’s actually catching on and inspiring young folks to genuinely fight and sacrifice for identity and tradition. And we’ve done all that with only a few thousand (much appreciated) in donations and a few thousand more in our own money. Imagine how far we could take this if we had your support.

And even if we achieve nothing with it, you’ll be even with what you would have achieved by investing it in the system’s bought-and-paid-for career politicians.

One Comment

Swiss Kinist

“If your religion’s not the most important thing to you, then it’s not your religion. If your values are negotiable under social pressure, then they’re not your values. Pence’s religion is worshiping his Big Business overlords and the values he holds dear are financial security and preening social status.”

Good words, brother.

I suppose that the reason why Pence caved in so quickly was this: He got a phone call stating that if he did not act quickly, the Final Four would be moved out of his state. Americans (even the Christian ones), since sports is one of their gods, would be quite angry if this were to happen. Thus, he had to comply very quickly.

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